Saturday, April 18, 2009

Shopping in the Science Supermarket

"Can you tell me where the mustard is?", I asked the nerdy looking storekeeper.

"It's next to the mayonnaise."

"Um okay....... But where is the mayonnaise?", I replied peevishly.

"Near both the ketchup and the soup."

"Again, this isn't really helping me. Maybe some sort of landmark independent of the foodstuffs themselves would be helpful?"


"I mean, really? All you can give me is the location of everything in terms of other things! I want mustard and I'm standing next to radishes what am I suppose to do?!"

"Radishes are near the soup!"


"Soups..." he directed me like I the slow child I was, "... are... near... the... mayonnaise."

And so I headed towards the soup. Turns out something called "onions" are also near the soup and the smell of these caught my attention: so pungent yet sweet. I peeled one back to see what was inside and what I found was... another onion! Onions are made of onions?! How can that be? So I tore open the onion and found onions all the way down.

That was 30 years ago. Someone just asked me where the mustard is. I don't know, I never did find it but, I told him. "the mayonnaise is near the bread."

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